Quarter Life Crisis?

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24 in a nutshell – I am currently reminiscing about the past 12 months. My 24th year of life was  a roller coaster to say the least. It began with one of the worst weeks of my life, but after coming to terms with certain revelations that had been made, I learned I needed to make the most of my time here and the time I have with the people I love. 24 was a year of many ups, downs, highs, lows, tears, and laughs. There were times I woke up content and at peace with my life and other times where I wanted to crawl into bed and hide from the world. This year has been one of growth: personally, mentally, and emotionally (even physically, but we shall get to that later). I made new friends and said good-bye to others.  I had the opportunity to experience so many new places! My first time in Paris, my first time in London, my first time in California, my first SOLO trip to Miami. I have been to hockey games, baseball games, basketball games. I have gotten to go to see Jay-z & Beyonce, Ellie Goulding, the 1975, Ed Sheeran, Katy Perry, John Mayer and more. I have fallen in love with new places, made amazing memories with my family & friends & have learned a lot about myself and this world we live in. The most important realization I had in the past few months is, it is the memories that matter, not the material things and the memories are what I have begun to focus on. I want to thank my family, friends, random people on the street, coworkers, dancing folks on the subway and New York City, for providing me with a book full (not kidding I have a book full of ticket stubs, etc.) of memories I will cherish forever.

NYC – At times it seems as if it is the worlds most inimidating place and at certain moments, it is. You can feel as if you are lost in a sea of millions of people, but that encourages you to stand out, make a name for yourself, accomplish your goals, and do things you would never be able to elsewhere. Growing up I had a great life in a small town. While home will always have my heart, I realized that living there can be a bubble, even though I love going back to that bubble when the city overwhelms me. If I had stayed there, I would not have this job that has granted me so many opportunities, I would not be able to walk out my door and be immersed in such a cultural masterpiece, I would not be able to stumble into my apartment at 6 am, try a new restaurant every night, go to exhibits on weekends, attend sporting events and concerts whenever I feel because they are two stops on the subway, attend one of the many festivals the city offers, develop daily crushes on strangers on the subway, and just have once in a lifetime experiences. New York City is an incredible place, it brings out both the worst and best in everyone. It challenges you to figure out who you are, what you want, and why you want it in a few short weeks. It is a place for growth and self  discovery & I really love this city with all of my heart.

FAMILY – 24 has been a year of horrible first dates, great first dates, having my heart broken, mood swings, self discovery, hair cuts, HORRIBLE hair cuts, gaining weight, losing weight, ups, downs and everything else in between, I have gotten through this roller coaster of a year with my family. I had been dreading 25, because I felt as if it meant my life was passing by too fast, and you know what it is. Just yesterday I was 16 with braces, scaring the shit out of my parents with my learners permit. Now all of a sudden I am 25. Everyone around me is growing older too and that I have come to realize, is the scariest fact of all. It puts things into perspective and makes you realize it is important to cherish every moment and spend time with those who love you and you love the most. The things I used to dread doing with my family when I was a stubborn 14 year old, are memories I now cherish and look forward to! I would give up any night at the bar to spend a night at home, watching movies with my mom, even though she falls asleep five minutes in. I would rather go on dinner dates with my dad, than with some random guy, one because my dad picks some good restaurants, two because I can order whatever I want, and three because my Dad is the bomb. My dad and I have standing weekly dinner dates and they are what I look forward to after a long day at work. Even though my sister and I are polar opposites and she texts me only once in a blue moon or when she needs advice, I actually like being able to be the one to give her advice because even though I am only three years older, those three years make a huge difference. I used to never care about holidays, but now they are what I look forward to. I absolutely love Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, because they are an excuse to get the whole family together, have some drinks, eat some food, and just have some laughs.

LOVE – My family began to get on my case about my love life a few years ago, asking why I am being so picky, when will I have a boyfriend, when will I get married, when will I have kids because “the clock is ticking”. You know what, a year ago (hell, even a few months ago) I freaked out because people started getting engaged, were in serious relationships & there I was all by my lonesome. Now, I am happy for those who are in relationships, but I am also happy for myself. I realize that yes I am EXTREMELY picky when it comes to men & out of all the dates I have gone on this year I have found something wrong with every one of them, but I know what I want and I am not ashamed. I have not been in a relationship in three years & I am perfectly fine with that. To be honest, being single is one of the best things about my life right now. With my job, this incredible city, my family, my friends, I do not have time for a relationship & am not ready to give up my life as selfish as that seems. Sure I will keep going on dates, but I guarantee I will find something wrong with them too. When the right guy comes along then yes, maybe I will settle down. But for now, I am enjoying going on dates, meeting new people & hearing their stories even if it leads to nothing. And through these dates I enjoy discovering things about myself that I never knew.

HEALTH- At 23, I was diagnosed with a metabolic disorder and while it is not life threatening, it has changed my entire life and the way I have to live it. It alters my mood, my weight and many other things. I have seen a bazillion doctors, had countless amounts of bloodwork done, and have been to a nutritionist because apparently I can only eat leaves and cucumbers.  It is both really easy to be healthy in this city and really hard. There are an abundance of gyms, fitness crazes, healthy restaurants, health food stores, active things to do, and on the flip side there are amazing Mexican joints, boozy brunches, happy hours, great Italian food, and plenty of reasons to skip the gym when the opportunity arises to go out and do something fun. It is a constant struggle to find the balance. I do not feel 100% healthy at the moment & that is something I hope to change this year. I have begun to change my life slowly and because I am stubborn beyond belief, it is proving to be a challenge. Baby steps people, baby steps.

25- 25 is here & I honestly cannot believe it. I am going to go into this year with a positive outlook & I am going to say yes to everything. I am going to get my life together, my health together and make myself an all around better person because I feel you can never be done trying to improve yourself or the lives of others around you. While yes, I am scared about hitting that quarter of a century old mark, I plan on embracing it, and everything that comes with it. I plan on making even more memories, meeting new people, strengthening relationships, and making the most out of every second I have. When I was 16 I thought by 25 I would be established, be engaged or married, living in the suburbs, getting ready to have a family. While my 25 years did not go as I had hoped at 16, at 25 I hope my next 25 years are just as wonderful and spontaneous as my last. Everything happens for a reason, we are exactly where we are supposed to be in our lives, and that is a fact because one thing is for sure, I am laughing at my 16 year old self. There is NO way I’m ready to move to the burbs, get engaged, or have a family at 25…maybe at 35?

We shall see 🙂

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Travel Tales: Boston

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Headed up to Boston tomorrow to see some of the loveliest gals I know! It is my first trek to the gorgeous city. Second if you count the time I went to look at my dream school (BC). But that was high school and I couldn’t exactly see what Boston really had to offer. I am a huge Yankee’s fan so I told my friend Lauren I would be coming to visit with my Yankee’s cap in hand… to which she told me she would be mortified and not be seen with me in public. Soooo, I guess I will not be bringing my cap along for the trip. Tonight is going to involve packing and planning the perfect outfits. I asked Carly if the going out style in Boston was more “NYC” (black & trendy) or ” my Jersey” (beachy, boho, and casual not that guido crap you see on tv), to which she said its more “Fairfield and NYC”. What in the world do I pack.  My two personalities are confused, do I pack my gorgeous black leather jacket, or my floral boho kimono jacket I recently purchased. WHAT’S A GIRL TO DO. I did however hop on over to Brandy Melville yesterday where I picked up the teeniest black number, which I am proud to say fits after like 8 months of working out and 10 pounds lost since last summer. I shall pat myself on the back for that one. I do not think I will have time to post until after my trip, but be warned, my next will be full of all the glorious things Boston has to offer including shopping of course. Hey…maybe i’ll come home with a Red Sox fan boyfriend (my father would NOT be happy). xx