I (Almost…okay not really) Survived A Juice Cleanse

I have been contemplating a juice cleanse for a while now, and after a few weeks of horrible eating and 5 pounds gained on top of the 20 I have been trying to lose, I said enough was enough. I marched myself over to Liquiteria and decided on their 3 day beginner cleanse. I wanted to not necessarily lose the weight, but jumpstart my body and my mind about making better choices when it comes to food.

Day One –


9:00 a.m: On my stroll to the subway my stomach already was grumbling so I thought I was done for before my cleanse had even begun. I walked on into Liquiteria, had a quick chat with the girl behind the counter about my options, she strictly reminded me to drink them in order, and then I was on my merry way. I had read horrible reviews about the first juice of the day, so I spent my 15 minute subway ride pumping myself up for what was about to come my way.

9:30 a.m: When I got to my office I immediately placed most of the juices into the fridge. All but my “All Greens” juice which was #1 and staring at me with all its greenness. It consists of: kale, spinach, romaine, parsley, celery, and cucumber. I opened the bottle, placed a straw in (I had read this helps with the taste), and took my first sip. I almost fell off my chair and puked. It was horrific and tasted like I was drinking my lunchtime Chop’t salad without the goodness. After a while it started to taste a little more bearable, that or my taste buds ran away.

10:00 a.m: Still drinking the first juice, trying to be strong.

10:30 a.m: Still on drink #1. Parsley, you’re killing me.

10:45 a.m: One MORE SIPPPPPP.

11:00 a.m: My thoughts: “Crap, I’m starving and I have to pee”

12:00 p.m: It was time for my second juice of the day the “All Greens with Apple.” I held my nose expecting the worst and took my first sip. I was pleasantly surprised, the addition of apple makes a world of difference. I actually enjoyed this one, and realized I would be drinking this again later…maybe I could do this.

12:30 p.m: All done! That was yummy! Now time to chug a ton of water so I don’t pass out.

1:00 p.m: Okay now this is when I started to get sad. I would normally have headed to Chop’t for my salad, but sadly I spent it dreading the next juice…carrot juice.

2:00 p.m:  Mid day headache has started (I was warned about this).

2:30 p.m: Carrot juice made me gag. The end.

4:15 p.m: My head is pounding at this point. Started to get nauseous too all while in a work meeting.

5:00: Juice # 4…how do I have 2 more left!

6:30: Juice #5 was a beet, ginger mix and I could not finish it. I like beets…with goat cheese…in a salad. I was hoping it would mask the taste of ginger because ginger is the bane of my existence. I HATE GINGER. The only exception is Momofuku Ginger Scallion Noodles because the ginger is not even noticeable, and thinking about ginger made me think of these noodles and the fact that I could not have them. This juice was the WORST!!!! I had to hold my nose to try and get it down and could only finish half of it.

7:00 p.m.: The absolute worst case of headache/nausea kicked in so I caved and had three cheddar bunnies. I had to go lie in bed to stop myself from eating and throwing up. I complained for a good 3o minutes to my roommate, watched Dancing with the Stars and went to bed. I could not finish the last juice of the day.

I woke up the next morning feeling okay and thinking I could possibly continue another day, but then I remembered the nausea and headaches and dizziness from the previous day and decided it was not worth it and I would just need to be more mindful of my food choices.  All in all I may have only survived one out of 3 days, but I definitely learned I need to make better choices about what goes into my body and that was the only thing I wanted to take out of this cleanse to begin with. I also lost 2 pounds, so I guess that was a plus.

The End.

p.s. I will never do a cleanse again.